Conversation Starters
After you have sat down with new Chinese friends or colleagues… what to talk about?
Well, aside from obvious pleasantries such as how you find China, what you like about China (avoid dislikes if any) and how delicious the food is, try chatting about your family and, if you can, show them a photo or two of your home or family. They’ll be most intrigued by your immediate and extended family, as the Chinese are very family-orientated.
In many countries talking about sport is the ultimate icebreaker but in China this isn’t too successful, with the notable exception of American basketball teams and stars (most Chinese are unhappy with their national football team). Further hot topics include talking about your hometown, your pastimes or your national cuisine. All having photos to back up what you say is a great advantage.
A further point you may be quizzed about regards how China, or its people, are perceived in your country… so try to focus on positives only! If there's something you don't quite like, there's no need to mention it. This may sound obvious but I have met many foreigners tell Chinese people what they truly think when asked. Like the Chinese, you're supposed to encourage their face, not work against it. If you have any money or coinage from your country, or a newspaper, you could show it to them.
If you know someone well, as a lead-in to a conversation or a text message pleasantry, they could ask you “Have you eaten?” or “Where are you?” – these are usually meant as pleasantries only and shouldn’t necessarily be taken as an offer to dine out or spend the evening together.
Generally, the Chinese are very easy to talk to. They are curious and fascinated about other cultures and always willing to engage in friendly and courteous conversation whether old or new friends. The only sticking point is that they rely on language, rather than body language, almost exclusively so getting basic phrases and sentence right is quite important. Get one tone wrong and they might not get your meaning at all. But that takes time and practice. If you live here, it's is actually very important to speak the lingo.
Hand Gestures
They also love the use of hand gestures as a comical and colourful way to illustrate your meaning. Fior example, if showing or saying numbers 6-10, there are specific finger gestures for each number.
Six = make a phone-like hand gesture
Seven = group your fingers together, like the Italian gesture
Eight = Extend the index finger to make a gun-like shape
Nine = Hook your index finger and fist the other fingers
Ten = Put your left and right hand index fingers together (like to make the Roman Numeral for 10).
Now, in the course of researching this part, and from my own experience of having travelling across China, it seems there are differences and locals are not aware of the different gestures that exist elsewhere. For example, sometimes the seven is a downwards pointed finger, and other times, a ten is just a left-hand fist action. But anyway, learning these gestures is a good step to avoiding confusion and just makes you feel that little bit more Chinese!
